“What are the guidelines for making a domestic violence report/ obtain a restraining order. Is it based off more recent events of abuse /violence, or can it be based off past incidents. Do I Need to prove a pattern of behaviors?”
You should tell the police what happened and ask them to submit their reports to the local prosecutor. It is up to the prosecutor to then file criminal charges (typically PC 243(e)(1) or PC 273.5(a)) – the latter domestic violence charge involves traumatic injury and can be filed as felony, the former is a no-injury domestic battery misdemeanor).
You see, if the accused person faces criminal charges, then even an informal grant of court probation for the accused will include a protective order of some sort – any violation will subject the restrained person to a probation violation, jail and potentially new contempt of court charges. The criminal justice system is the quickest and most effective way to channel this type of behavior; plus, you do not have to hire a lawyer or pay anyone for this protection. The prosecutor and police officers will get paid no matter what, and this is their job. I’m sorry you are going through this. You should seek aid immediately. Good luck.